Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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