Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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