is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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