I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
