Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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