he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
