Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
