Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
