I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
