Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
