I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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