I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
