pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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