she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
