I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
