69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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