The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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