Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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