I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
