If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
