i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize