Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
