So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
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