Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
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Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
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Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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