Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
