Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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