I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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