i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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