Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
