I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
