Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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