Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
