the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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