My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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