butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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