Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
