Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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