My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
ttyl tear gas
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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