i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
