U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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