Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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