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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
