She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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