everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
