I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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