At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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