i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
