proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
