holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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