I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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