Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
