doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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