Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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