you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
i've created a new STD.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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