Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
