if you like me you must not know who I am
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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