Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
