good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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