reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
