he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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